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Day 32 to 37 Florida 2017

Well, we’re here at last, the last day. Five weeks and two days since we touched down on this continent, and we’re packing to come home, not before a quick recap though.

It all started in Las Vegas, over 2500 miles away now, and what seems like a long time ago. I was white, a lot richer, and a lot thinner. A helicopter ride to the Grand Canyon for my 50th birthday, and if you remember, a massive 20c win on the slot machines. Talking of birthdays, I’m hoping that the “loads of post” Georgia is telling me about is birthday cards, and not hospital appointments about my aging hearing, hips and prostate. If you’ve omitted to remember the milestone in my life you have 24 hours to pop round and post a card, so it can go on the kitchen table with endless Macro brochures and offers from gypsies to renew my roofing for free, thanks to a new government scheme. Oh, and the obligatory “your windows were cleaned today” note.

After Vegas we flew the long way to Fort Lauderdale, thanks to a pilot who wanted to fly via Columbia to “show his wife the sights”. A long drive to Key West, as we hadn’t realised it was Memorial Weekend, followed, the upside being that we got to see a bit more of Miami that we wanted to. A trip out on a friend of a friends boat around the southern isles, and back up to Fort Lauderdale, which took slightly less than the trip down there, at only 6 hours.

Up the west coast via a stay in Naples, Fort Myers and Treasure Island, before being joined by the family in Kissimmee. Two weeks, many hours of fun, several heat stroke related trips to the pharmacy and the doctors later, the girls flew home and Sam was dispatched to New York for three months. We then moved over to the east coast to stay with good friends Terry and Vivien, who, after seeing the news about the Middle East, asked “Why do we have issues with the Uranians?”. After much questioning it became apparent she was taking about Iran, and not a yet to be discovered race of aliens from Uranus.

After a week or so, we then headed back to Orlando, for a night with friends Paul and Laura, before our final night, last night, in Disney Springs. Ive never stayed directly on the Disney prison before, but its really nice and convenient. The hotel staff though, even though it says Holiday Inn on their badges, are obviously part of the Disney machine…Here are you’re room keys (with mixtures of Animal Kingdom on them)….I’ll just put them in this wallet (advertising Magic Kingdom)…And if you take the footbridge across the road you’re directly in Disney Springs with direct access to all Disney Parks….But I want to go to Sea World?…Our Disney themed breakfast starts at 7.30am, and Mickey and Minnie arrive at 8am….but i just want a coffee and some eggs…Like I said, Pluto can get you coffee and Donald Duck will bring your eggs, its only $54.99 per person, but the kids love it. Brad, I think I’ll skip that one and go to Hooters. Which is what we did on our last night, as we did on our very first night some 37 days ago. Our server last night was Kayla, who had obviously been told that she needed a “bit more of a tan” if she wanted to stay with the company, as she had more layers of foundation than a really bad clown. She even had foundation on her armpits, as it discoloured her white vest. I say white vest, i meant white and beige. Still, her wings were good…matron.

So, I’ll sign off now, as we just watched the Disney fireworks from our room, with one final nikkism. “Have you noticed that we hear the bangs a few seconds before we see the flashes?”. I let it go, I’ll leave it to you to explain that one. Right, I’m off to Walgreens the Chemist to buy over the counter sleeping tablets for the flight, and ill see you tomorrow. Or maybe Wednesday. Ok, ill be alive and jet lag free by Friday. I’m missing The Wolf.

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