Day Ten – Florida 2016

There’s not a lot of point updating you about what’s happened if nothing has actually happened. Yesterday was the first day I’ve actually had to sit down and do nothing. Just relax. That’s pretty much what I did. I just did what any normal person does. I confronted the villa rental people as they’d put a combination lock on the BBQ, rendering it useless to normal people, and contravening the Geneva Convention. They’d also made the spa bubbles stop working. I rang them and they said they’d send their man round straight away to attend to it. I’ve been up all night waiting for him, but he’s still not shown up. Maybe he’s jet lagged.

I eventually found a hack saw in the garage, and managed to free the outdoor cooking facility in time to grill the first steak of my holiday, a rib eye, which, if I do say so myself, was lovely. Twinned with just a bit of coleslaw (one of my five salad items a day) and a beer (which was Bud light, so it doesn’t really count), it was nice. Nikki unfortunately couldn’t enjoy it, due to a beer/gin /red wine/ white wine combo that, for some reason, affected her eyes, speech, legs, reason, accountability, social grace, hand eye coordination, hearing, balance, toilet use, understanding and snoring.

I did manage to have a bit of me time though, as Vesuvius lay dormant in our bed, and watched an England v Turkey game. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t live, as they would have kicked off at 2am ( which is exactly what I did when she stole all the covers). Seemed a good game, and it seems that Vardy and Sterling are as good at diving as Tom Daly.

Anyway, no use waffling on with nothing to say. You knew this day would come when nothing happened. For the first time since May the fourth, I was able to relax. Well, almost….