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Day 15 & 16 Florida 2017

The following day, which follows the last blog i completed, i got up, went down for breakfast and stood, staring at the warm platter ahead of me. Grits. Even the name should warn you off. Grit is that stuff you get in your knee when you fall over as a child, or in your elbow when your Chopper decided to throw you sideways. It’s certainly not a food stuff. It looks like porridge, with meat in it, and a bit of gravy. And you put it on a biscuit, which isn’t a biscuit as you know it…oh no, a biscuit is like a floppy flakey scone (pronounced scone as in stone, and not scone as in gone). You cover the biscuit with their grits, and there you have it, apparently, a healthy nutritious breakfast. I opted for the peanut butter on toast. Fried.

We had a relaxing day on Saturday, out on the boat again with our American hosts. My only request was to be back in time to watch the European Cup Final at 4pm. That didn’t happen. About that time i was hand picking conch (pronounced conch as is bonk and not conch as in….well something else that rhymes with con-CH) out of the warm shallow waters of Treasure Island. This time we were joined by previous Florida attendant Paul, who, despite many attempts, didn’t want me to apply cream to his back….he’ll regret that later (see tomorrow’s blog “Scouse Male Buys up supplies of Aloe Vera”).

After a few beers, some dip, some chips (which we call crisps) and a donut, we headed back to dry land, to relax in the surroundings of Ricky T’s bar. Two bands on (greedy) one outside and one inside, and i had a salad. What? Crab, shrimp (which we call prawns) lettuce, jalapeƱo peppers (which we call Jellerpeeneeo), and a bit of blue cheese dressing. So, not really a salad at all in the usual terms, more of a healthier option though than the “Cardiac Burger with thribble cooked fries in dripping”. I gave myself a pat on the back, which in turn i passed onto the white throne the following days thanks to the Jelly-peeno peppers…

Pronunciation and words. There’s a thing. We speak English. We invented the language forsooth. It’s ours. And yet, wherever you go, where English originally used to be a first language, words have been changed. In Australia, a toilet is a dunny. Probably derived from the Scottish, as in “FFS, that stinks! Dunny go in there again!”. But Americanisms, i think they were devised just to make life a little easier. Sidewalk….meaning to walk at the side of then road. Sneakers…meaning to wear soft shoes and sneak around quietly, fall (instead of autumn) due to the leaves falling. Driving…meaning to ignore everyone else on the road, forget what indicators are for, stick your finger up to fellow road users, speed past and brake in front of others, and think that you “can drive” as you passed your test and got your “drivers license” (which is American for Driving licence). The test involves driving a small automatic (and not a stick shift, which is American for gear stick) around a school car park, and recognising that a red triangle with a zig zag in it means bend ahead, and not beware of snakes.

I’m not having a go at anyone, just wondering why? Is it for ease of explanation or is it just to personalise your own brand of parlance and location? Ter bee oneest, onner reelee botherd, geen av an oatcake”.

Back to reality, we’re now in Kissimmee, in a lovely villa, the same villa that we had last year, and it feels like home. I’ve said this before, but if this place was for sale, I’d buy it. Doesn’t help you much (or as they say here, y’all), but it is one of the nicest places I’ve stayed in. I need coffee…..

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